


Glorious Purpose

by LoireLoa



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Families of Choice, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, POV Loki (Marvel), The Void
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-07-02 06:26:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15790836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoireLoa/pseuds/LoireLoa
Summary: Loki never expected to survive the Void, and he certainly didn’t expect what he found on the other side.





	Glorious Purpose

**Author's Note:**

> Non-Archive tags: mentions of attempted suicide, mentions of genocide.

_‘No, Loki.’_

That’s it. 

That’s all it takes for Loki to finally see the truth. Odin would never - perhaps, _could_ never love him. Loki wasn’t his son - he was a tool. A relic. A war trophy. And now here he was, doing exactly what he’d been taught to do (‘I’ll slay them all!’), as he had been taught to do it (‘Enough with the tricks Loki! Use your weapon! Are you a man, or aren’t you?’) but it wasn’t good enough. Nothing was, and nothing ever had been, and Loki was a fool for thinking that _anything_ ever would be. 

‘Everything I did was for you. To make you proud.’ he thinks, brokenly. ‘I dedicated my entire life to you, and I have no purpose left now.’

With that last thought, he finally lets go. 

\---

His first instinct, upon waking, is to wonder that he woke up at all. ‘I should be dead’, he thinks, ‘that should have killed me.’ When he opens his eyes, he realizes he’s on a ship; he can just hear the faint hum of an engine in warp drive, and looks out the window next to his bed to see whole galaxies whipping past. He’s not sure what part of the cosmos he’s in, but he’s definitely outside of the Nine. To his other side there’s a door standing half open, showing the hallway beyond. There’s a desk next to the bed, and a closet next to it. Opposite that is a third door - ‘A washroom’ he guesses. ‘It’s not a prison cell, and the door is open - that means I’m probably not considered a threat.’ He doesn’t know if that is a good thing or not. On one hand, it could mean he’s been underestimated; on the other, it could mean that whoever plucked him out of the Void is so powerful that he actually _isn’t_ a threat. He resolves to be careful until he knows which it is. 

\--

The hallway is both bright and warm - and Loki is grateful for that, as the Void was neither - but it is also sterile and eerily quiet. The only sounds he can hear are the ones he’s making, and the only things in sight are the muted gray of the walls and dull gleam of the metal doors along it. The doors run down the right side of the hall and are all closed; after the first five or six are revealed to be locked, Loki stops trying to open them. He considers opening them with magic, but since he hasn’t the faintest idea of what’s behind them, he decides against it. ’Knowing my luck I’d fall through an airlock and find myself stuck in the Void again.’

When he reaches the end of the hall, he finally finds a door he can open. This one has a glass window, and leads to a staircase. From this level, the only way to go is down, so down Loki goes. He finds himself in another corridor, nearly indistinguishable from the one he left. These doors are locked too, but the passage itself opens up into a lounge of sorts. The far wall is made entirely of glass, and if he hadn’t been falling among them just recently, he’d find the view of the stars beautiful. As it is, he simply makes note of its location and passes through quickly, hugging the wall to his left and escaping into another stairwell. 

He passes through another corridor and down a third flight of stairs before he finally finds himself on a gangway that overlooks the ship’s control room. The single man - if it _is_ a man - sitting in the Captain’s chair is the only other form of life he’s seen yet. The individual has a ashen complexion, with white hair, and dark clothes. He is like no species Loki has even seen before. The figure turns around, regarding Loki with keen eyes. 

“Ah,” he says, “You’re awake.”

\--

He introduces himself as Ebony Maw, and tells Loki that he found him drifting through an asteroid belt on his way from Xeron to Titan. “I initially assumed you were dead,” he says, “and thought I’d take your corpse for further study. I was quite surprised when I realized you were alive.”

‘Not as surprised as I was.’ Loki thinks. He figures he should be concerned about Maw’s casual mention of experimentation, but - strangely - he isn’t. Perhaps he’s still in shock at having survived falling into a collapsing wormhole; perhaps he’s still numb from that final rejection (‘No, Loki’). Either way, he’s not bothered. He isn't certain that he _wants_ to know how he survived, but decides that Maw knowing and himself having that knowledge are not necessarily mutually inclusive. He tells Maw as much, and he is surprisingly understanding. “It’s not in my nature to deny myself the opportunity to understand impossibilities,” Maw says, “but I will not force that understanding on you. If ignorance ever stops being a comfort to you, the information will be available.” 

That is more consideration from another person than Loki has had in a very, _very_ long time. 

\--

It will take them just shy of a fortnight from Loki’s awakening to reach Titan, and in that time Ebony Maw is determined to run every test he can think of on Loki. He’s taken hair, skin, saliva, blood, and semen samples from Loki, and has examined him thoroughly. He’s observed and measured Loki’s magic, testing its limitations and finding very few. Loki isn’t surprised by this - he is considered one of the most talented sorcerers in all of Yggdrasil - but Maw is _elated_. It seems the strange man is a sorcerer himself, and he readily engages Loki in hours long discussions on the different branches and applications of magic. He’s fascinated by Loki’s shape-shifting, and blatantly impressed by his ability to travel between realms unaided. Loki is unused to being the center of attention - that was Thor’s place (‘Know your place!’) - and cannot recall the last time he was the focus of positive attention. It’s nice, comforting even, and Loki finds himself dreading reaching their destination if only because he doesn’t want to lose this. He has never had a companion such as Maw before, and he cannot help but wonder how different his life would have been if he had. 

\--

It is while Maw is examining Loki in his Jotun form that he first mentions Thanos. Loki has heard of him before, but never anything good. Maw is neither surprised nor amused by the tales circulated about his father-figure, and tells him the story how he became a child of Thanos.

“I grew up in poverty,” he begins, “ the unexpected second son to a man who only ever wanted one. He never forgave my mother for burdening him with me, and when she died he took me into the nearest city and left me there. I was quite young - perhaps three or four - and I remembered being absolutely terrified. He left me with nothing in an overpopulated city that was rife with criminals and disease. If I had not discovered my magic, I probably wouldn’t have survived my first winter.  
By the time Thanos came, I had been living on the streets for several years. His troops gathered everyone up, and he told us that the solution to our woes was a culling; that there were too many people living on too few resources, and that in order to tip the scales back into balance, some of us had to die. I was not very old, but I knew in my heart that he was right. There wasn’t enough of anything to go around - not money, not food, not shelter .. not anything. I knew this more than most, because _nothing_ is what I had. I didn’t even have friends or family; I was completely bereft, without even hope. When he asked for volunteers, I went readily. Instead of killing me, he took me aside and ordered the death of everyone who _didn’t_ volunteer. He explained that they were selfish and greedy, and that even if he spared them, they would eventually work themselves right back into the situation they were in now. Only those who were willing to sacrifice themselves for the betterment of all could be trusted to rebuild. When it was finally over, I was the only one left. I have been a child of Thanos ever since.”

When Loki tells him of his own past, Maw listens with compassion. When he speaks of his attempt at destroying Jotunheim, he’s met with a look of solemn understanding. 

“War is a plague.” Maw tells him. “We try our best to forestall it; but it is inevitable. When it comes, the best any of us can do is end it quickly. A brutal, decisive war is, in its own way, merciful.”

Loki isn’t sure that anyone on Asgard (or Jotunheim) would agree, but Maw’s words make him feel a little less alone. If he is a monster (‘I am the monster parents tell their children about at night’) then at least he is in good company. 

\--

By the time they land on Titan, Ebony Maw has become the brother that Loki always longed for. Maw is the only friend he has now, and Loki vows to help him however he can. If they want to know about Asgard and Jotunheim and Midgard, he will will tell them. When he meets the Other, he answers all of his questions honestly and without hesitation. Eventually, he is taken to Thanos himself, where his motives are questioned relentlessly. Initially, Thanos doesn’t trust that the information Loki provided on the Nine Realms is accurate, but Loki manages to convince him. He’s not interested in returning to a society where he will never be enough, and when Thanos offers him a place in his family, he takes it. 

Over time, he accompanies Ebony Maw and his other siblings on missions for Thanos, culling back overpopulated planets, and spreading his teachings across the universe. He knows he has become the monster that everyone on Asgard has always claimed him to be, and he embraces it. He has a new family now, made up of of people he _chose_. They respect his intelligence and value his talents, and if that makes him a monster then _he is proud to be one_ ; proud to be the monstrous son of a monstrous man, and a monstrous brother to his equally monstrous siblings. He has finally found a place to belong, and he will die a thousand deaths before he _ever_ gives that up.

\--

By the time he steps through the portal on Midgard to claim the Tesseract for Thanos and the planet for himself, he is a completely different man from the one who fell into the void. The men he fights - if it could be called that - pose no threat or challenge to him at all. He knows, with absolute certainty, that humanity needs to be saved from itself, and he _will_ be the one to do it.

“I am Loki, of Titan,” he declares with conviction, “and I am burdened with _glorious_ purpose.”


End file.
